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Friday 17 July 2015

How to make mistakes - Overcoming the fear of it

In the face of uncertainty it is crucial to make mistakes. I was obsessed with being on the "right" path when there really is no such thing. Uncertainty has shown me that no matter how prepared you think you are, you're not. It teaches how one must learn to be when a storm circles you, how to be centered in the midst of chaos. You do this by making mistakes. You take action not because it is the safest thing to do, but because it is the scariest thing to do.

A huge portion of society dread the idea of making mistakes because they fear the consequences of their actions. This idea is imprinted onto us very early in our life when our parents, from a good place, try to teach us by punishing us when we do something that displeases them. It is an embedding of the idea that actions we take, that are outside the approved box, is a marker for punishment, and no one wants to be punished so we become afraid of taking any action that inspire something new at all. Making mistakes is about being free from the idea of punishment... it's about falling and getting up not falling and being trampled over again which is what we feel like when we are punished, instead of being praised for discovering a path that does not serve us, we are deemed bad, stupid, unworthy, not up to standard, and a bunch of other self esteem destructing words. But more importantly mistakes are about discovering uncharted waters and discovering something beautiful that you would not if you hadn't made that mistake.



A good question one might ask is why would anyone want to make mistakes?  The answer to this question can be realized in its clearest form by making them. But let me try to give you an idea why. Mistakes are points of growth in your life. When you make a mistake, you think to yourself and say "oh, this is how i can take a different direction that's in more alignment". In fact, one of the most fundamental problem solving methods that is used very often in scientific discoveries is the process of trial and error. Not the kind where you try out of hopelessness but the kind where every action you take has a purpose and if it turns out to be unwanted, you are closer to knowing what is wanted. In the same way, you can use trial and error as a form of guide to find what satisfies you the most in life. Every mistake you make is one step closer to clairvoyance, quite the opposite of following suit.

A problem arises when we regret our mistakes. Regret has a very lingering feeling to it, as if you will never ever forget that event. We feel regret because we believe we have done something bad. But is the definition of bad really our own or has it been fed to us by what society? It is the latter. which brings me to the next problem. Fearing the judgement that is associated with our mistakes. This is dangerous because immediately we crawl back into our caves. What i would like to point out is that when society judges us for our mistakes, it is the people who are stuck their own caves, afraid to make any mistakes and so by judging us, they have the power to drag us back with them. The only way to overcome this is courage. The courage to be walk out of the safety caves and ignore the callbacks. To go and experience the beauty and darkness of the forest, one may say.

In my experience, making mistakes and taking that scary step in life has shown me who I really am. Especially when dealing with all the chaos that comes along with it, your old self  that depends on external commands will die and a rebirth occurs where your golden character shows up and takes center stage. Then it's game on...